There's only one thing in your article I "take issue" with (not really, but bear with me):
"Men have already been rendered optional."
In my opinion, we've only been brainwashed as a society to believe men are optional, when in reality the data and statistics show they absolutely are. Children coming out of single mother households have a slew of challenges set up ahead of them as a result of having no father figure in their lives. I'm a relentless optimist, so I say there is still some hope to turn things around if new parents, as few as we are in US, can try to keep solid, traditional family values and be there for our kids. It won't prevent the ugly population collapse that's coming, but maybe it'll make it more likely to shorten it or pull out of it sooner. But your points all still stand, in order for that change to happen, we need to stop acting like men are a disease on society, which I think is how the masses view them now, sadly.
Thank you again for a great article, it was a great read.
I should be clear: I agree with you. Men are not replaceable in reality, but the perception that they are often maintains its allure for most women until later in life, when dating and family formation become increasingly difficult. If I am correct about where things are headed, then the same conversation will have to take place with men insofar as they will need to realize women are not actually replaceable.
I also think in the long term, it will work out because, as you pointed out, the type of people having children will be the future.
Yes, definitely, there's going to have to be a big "conversation" in the future as a society between the currently adult men and women. Sadly I think perhaps that conversation will happen when these current adults are too old to have their own children. Our generation and a lot of the ones after ours really got mislead by progressive doctrine. But I've seen some people already who have reached that point, and are trying to share their wisdom with the younger generations. Like you said, things are going to self-correct, we're just in for a bumpy ride until it does.
This is a perfect companion article to what I just published today regarding the false promises and hopes of AI. It is not a Luddite screed, it just asks some simple questions.
Thanks - I wrote software for many years, and TBH AI is impressive in many ways. But it won’t be Data from the Enterprise. Thanks again for taking the time to read.
The article is so perfectly on point that it is startling. It perfectly articulates every dark truth my mind has been suppressing for purposes of self deception for years. I too, have sons. Prayer is urgently required.
<Sigh> I'm having dark visions of my young sons in another 5-10 years interacting with no one but their LLM girlfriends who have been programmed to talk sexy to them about Minecraft--I don't think they'd stand a chance. Honest question: are we reaching a point where we need to start seriously re-considering the possibilities of arranging marriages for our children? It has much more been the historical norm than our current free-for-all, and while it was utterly off the table for the last several generations (what with all the freedom, security, and prosperity), I wonder if the younger generations are looking up at the despair and disfunction of our current age and wondering if there might not be a better way. Might well be as dead an end as purity culture was to the evangelicals in the 1990s, but I can't help wondering if this is an idea whose time has come again.
It's not all bleak. I, for one, can forsee several good scenarios.
First, the younger men out there are finding religion at unprecedented rates. They are fit, based, and are far more able (and willing) to eschew the college degree for lucrative careers in the trades. This is a very hopeful trend for the future, economically and politically.
Second, I forsee a major economic recession coming soon. Folks will blame it all on Trump, of course, but regardless of where the blame will be rendered, white-collar jobs in fields like education will be the first to go on the chopping block. And guess who's going to be the first victims? Thanks to DEI being formally abolished in government (and informally being abandoned in the private sector), you are going to see TONS of young women - already the lowest on the career pecking order - getting kicked out of their jobs & condos, and moving in with their parents.
And guess who's gonna want to move out of her parents' place, suck up her pride, and be friendly with the handsome young plumber with his own house down the street? Watch the blue hair disappear, and watch "my body, my choice" magically turn into "here's your favorite dinner, honey."
We are already seeing the early stages of this with millennials and zoomer’s. If you look at the statistics on childless unmarried women over 30 it’s pretty bad. I don’t have it in front of me but I think it’s close to 40% or will be in the next couple years.
I think that the possibility of digital companionship that is offered by these language learning models has the potential to be the nail in the coffin for dating and fertility especially for Gen Alpha
It's complicated. The women are not voluntarily unmarried, although many of them would say otherwise. What has happened to them as far as I can tell is that they have been sold a false bill of goods. They are told their whole lives that they do not need a man and that marriage and motherhood can wait until after college.
But the problem is that by the time they graduate and get a job and start to look for a husband they are in their mid to late 20's and they have often gained weight and been partying or just having fun. And when they do enter the serious dating market, they limit their potential partners because as I said in the article women tend to date "across and up." To add to this, they also have to compete with younger women, and they do not understand that men do not place much value on what a woman does for a living but instead value youth and beauty.
All that is to say by the time they start looking their options are so limited they stop trying and pretend that they choose to be single or that there are no good men. So it's not voluntary but they will often say it is.
As for men, it's different. You have twice as many female ancestors as males because women have always passed on their genes more frequently. So there has always been non insignificant portion of men that did not reproduce. But what we are seeing now is that more men are involuntarily single because women will not pay them any mind. They want to date but often they find there are no interested women or that the ones that are, are not worth the risk. The male response to this is to give up and stop trying but if you ask them, they are generally more honest about the fact that they want a wife or GF but cannot find one.
No. My oldest son is 12 and I use the line form Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come."
I think that you have understand that it will be harder to find a wife but not impossible, but this means that there will much competition. So, to stand out you have to take care of yourself physically and be competent and capable. Take the time to find a career and become proficient. This will signal success or potential success and that is what women look for.
As for what makes a man likely to be single... being lazy and unkempt, not being ambitious and confident. Most young men I meet who have an issue meeting women have not taken the time to correct their short comings. If they are fat, they or weak or dress bad, etc those are things that can be fixed and while it sucks to have to admit that you are lacking in an area, they only way to improve is to recognize your failings and correct them. Any man who falls back and gives up is not going to make it.
There's only one thing in your article I "take issue" with (not really, but bear with me):
"Men have already been rendered optional."
In my opinion, we've only been brainwashed as a society to believe men are optional, when in reality the data and statistics show they absolutely are. Children coming out of single mother households have a slew of challenges set up ahead of them as a result of having no father figure in their lives. I'm a relentless optimist, so I say there is still some hope to turn things around if new parents, as few as we are in US, can try to keep solid, traditional family values and be there for our kids. It won't prevent the ugly population collapse that's coming, but maybe it'll make it more likely to shorten it or pull out of it sooner. But your points all still stand, in order for that change to happen, we need to stop acting like men are a disease on society, which I think is how the masses view them now, sadly.
Thank you again for a great article, it was a great read.
Leia, thank you!
I should be clear: I agree with you. Men are not replaceable in reality, but the perception that they are often maintains its allure for most women until later in life, when dating and family formation become increasingly difficult. If I am correct about where things are headed, then the same conversation will have to take place with men insofar as they will need to realize women are not actually replaceable.
I also think in the long term, it will work out because, as you pointed out, the type of people having children will be the future.
Yes, definitely, there's going to have to be a big "conversation" in the future as a society between the currently adult men and women. Sadly I think perhaps that conversation will happen when these current adults are too old to have their own children. Our generation and a lot of the ones after ours really got mislead by progressive doctrine. But I've seen some people already who have reached that point, and are trying to share their wisdom with the younger generations. Like you said, things are going to self-correct, we're just in for a bumpy ride until it does.
This is a perfect companion article to what I just published today regarding the false promises and hopes of AI. It is not a Luddite screed, it just asks some simple questions.
https://culturalcourage.substack.com/p/elon-thats-a-grok-of-understanding
Just read it, good stuff. I think you are correct that AI is overhyped, and that the real danger is people will surrender their autonomy to it.
Thanks - I wrote software for many years, and TBH AI is impressive in many ways. But it won’t be Data from the Enterprise. Thanks again for taking the time to read.
The article is so perfectly on point that it is startling. It perfectly articulates every dark truth my mind has been suppressing for purposes of self deception for years. I too, have sons. Prayer is urgently required.
<Sigh> I'm having dark visions of my young sons in another 5-10 years interacting with no one but their LLM girlfriends who have been programmed to talk sexy to them about Minecraft--I don't think they'd stand a chance. Honest question: are we reaching a point where we need to start seriously re-considering the possibilities of arranging marriages for our children? It has much more been the historical norm than our current free-for-all, and while it was utterly off the table for the last several generations (what with all the freedom, security, and prosperity), I wonder if the younger generations are looking up at the despair and disfunction of our current age and wondering if there might not be a better way. Might well be as dead an end as purity culture was to the evangelicals in the 1990s, but I can't help wondering if this is an idea whose time has come again.
It's not all bleak. I, for one, can forsee several good scenarios.
First, the younger men out there are finding religion at unprecedented rates. They are fit, based, and are far more able (and willing) to eschew the college degree for lucrative careers in the trades. This is a very hopeful trend for the future, economically and politically.
Second, I forsee a major economic recession coming soon. Folks will blame it all on Trump, of course, but regardless of where the blame will be rendered, white-collar jobs in fields like education will be the first to go on the chopping block. And guess who's going to be the first victims? Thanks to DEI being formally abolished in government (and informally being abandoned in the private sector), you are going to see TONS of young women - already the lowest on the career pecking order - getting kicked out of their jobs & condos, and moving in with their parents.
And guess who's gonna want to move out of her parents' place, suck up her pride, and be friendly with the handsome young plumber with his own house down the street? Watch the blue hair disappear, and watch "my body, my choice" magically turn into "here's your favorite dinner, honey."
Do you think most young men will end up unmarried involuntarily?
I think this has already come to pass for millennial generación.
What about Generation Z? Men under 30?
We are already seeing the early stages of this with millennials and zoomer’s. If you look at the statistics on childless unmarried women over 30 it’s pretty bad. I don’t have it in front of me but I think it’s close to 40% or will be in the next couple years.
I think that the possibility of digital companionship that is offered by these language learning models has the potential to be the nail in the coffin for dating and fertility especially for Gen Alpha
Do you think the rate of unmarried men will be higher than the rate of unmarried women?
I would in image so, a quick search on GPT, shows there is about a 3% difference
Do you think these women are voluntarily unmarried or involuntarily unmarried? What about the men?
It's complicated. The women are not voluntarily unmarried, although many of them would say otherwise. What has happened to them as far as I can tell is that they have been sold a false bill of goods. They are told their whole lives that they do not need a man and that marriage and motherhood can wait until after college.
But the problem is that by the time they graduate and get a job and start to look for a husband they are in their mid to late 20's and they have often gained weight and been partying or just having fun. And when they do enter the serious dating market, they limit their potential partners because as I said in the article women tend to date "across and up." To add to this, they also have to compete with younger women, and they do not understand that men do not place much value on what a woman does for a living but instead value youth and beauty.
All that is to say by the time they start looking their options are so limited they stop trying and pretend that they choose to be single or that there are no good men. So it's not voluntary but they will often say it is.
As for men, it's different. You have twice as many female ancestors as males because women have always passed on their genes more frequently. So there has always been non insignificant portion of men that did not reproduce. But what we are seeing now is that more men are involuntarily single because women will not pay them any mind. They want to date but often they find there are no interested women or that the ones that are, are not worth the risk. The male response to this is to give up and stop trying but if you ask them, they are generally more honest about the fact that they want a wife or GF but cannot find one.
Do you think men should give up? What characteristics make a man likely to be single for life?
No. My oldest son is 12 and I use the line form Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come."
I think that you have understand that it will be harder to find a wife but not impossible, but this means that there will much competition. So, to stand out you have to take care of yourself physically and be competent and capable. Take the time to find a career and become proficient. This will signal success or potential success and that is what women look for.
As for what makes a man likely to be single... being lazy and unkempt, not being ambitious and confident. Most young men I meet who have an issue meeting women have not taken the time to correct their short comings. If they are fat, they or weak or dress bad, etc those are things that can be fixed and while it sucks to have to admit that you are lacking in an area, they only way to improve is to recognize your failings and correct them. Any man who falls back and gives up is not going to make it.
What about their looks and their height?