"My Big Fat Greek Traditions": Values, Cultural Preservation, and the Primacy of Family in Modernity

I sat down and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding with my wife recently and was surprised at how the film handles the themes of marriage, culture, and family in a positive light. The film highlights the clash between traditional Greek values and contemporary ideals, emphasizing the enduring importance of culture, heritage, and strong familial ties in shaping relationships and individual identities. While the film is comedic and over the top it cuts to the heart of one of the major issues facing modern man, the lack of familial bonds and traditions.

Preserving Traditional Values:

The film serves as a vivid portrayal of the preservation of traditional values within the context of marriage. Traditionalists often argue the importance and necessity of preserving cultural values as the foundation for lasting and meaningful relationships. In his seminal work "The Quest for Community," Robert Nisbet emphasizes the role of tradition in providing stability and coherence within society (Nisbet, 1953). In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the Portokalos family serves as a representation of traditional values, with their unwavering commitment to Greek cultural traditions and customs. Gus Portokalos the family patriarch mirrors the traditionalist concern for the erosion of such values in modernity, where individualism and personal desires often overshadow the communal and enduring principles that have historically sustained marriages and families. Gus is a Greek man, born and raised in Greece, living in a non-Greek world, trying desperately to hold onto his identity as the next generation comes of age. His daughter has been raised in the United States, and as such she has been Americanized. The film opens with him telling his daughter, “You are getting old, you need to get married.” She is a modern woman, she’s thirty and unmarried and for her father this is unacceptable. He wants her to marry a Greek boy, have Greek babies, and be proud of being Greek. As the film progress she meets Ian Miller, a non-Greek school teacher, and her father is unhappy that he is not Greek. Even when Gus finally accepts that she will marry a non-Greek he forces Ian Miller his daughter to be baptized into the Orthodox Church and have a Greek wedding. Ian has no Issue with this because as we will see later he has no culture of his own, he might as well become Greek-ish. Although often played for laughs throughout the film in the end Gus is proven to be right. Ian is absorbed into Greek culture, and the Greek identity becomes the foundation for their marriage.

The Importance of Cultural Heritage:

The cultural heritage that Ian is brought into plays a central role in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, underscoring its significance in shaping individual identity and relationship dynamics. E. Adamson Hoebel, in his anthropological work "Anthropology: The Study of Man," highlights the role of cultural heritage in transmitting values and norms across generations (Hoebel, 1949). The film emphasizes the profound influence of Greek culture on Toula's life and how it shapes everything from her employment to her future children’s names. The Portokalous family brings vibrant celebrations and close-knit community somthing alien to the deracinated Ian. Here Greek cultural heritage is portrayed as the fabric that weaves together the Portokalos family's lives, it came before them and they must preserve it for the next generation.It’s the handing down of cultural heritage that fosters social cohesion and a sense of belonging, providing individuals with a rooted identity that transcends the transient nature of modern life.

The Centrality of Family:

Traditionalists often stress the primacy of the family unit in society, providing support, guidance, and a sense of belonging. In his influential work "The Conservative Mind," Russell Kirk argues that the family is the essential social institution that upholds tradition and ensures societal continuity (Kirk, 1953). In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the Portokalos family's strong familial ties and collective support contribute to Toula's personal growth and happiness. They help her go to college, provide her employment, they plan her wedding. The film showcases the power of the family unit in providing a stable foundation for individuals to navigate the challenges of life and establish fulfilling marriages. It becomes clear that prioritizing family cohesion and intergenerational continuity creates a nurturing environment for fostering successful and meaningful relationships, something Ian and the modern individual disconnect from all ties no longer has.

Critiquing Modern Individualism:

The film serves as a critique of modern individualism, a central concern for many on the left and the right. In "The True and Only Heaven," Christopher Lasch argues that modern individualism undermines social bonds and weakens community cohesion (Lasch, 1991). The deracinating nature of modernity is made most obvious by the contrast between the traditional Greek values, represented by the Portokalos family, and modern Western values, embodied by the Miller family. The Porokalos family is a large network of relatives; cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are all active and involved in the lives of their kin. The Miller family is everything wrong with the modern household, empty consumers, with one child, no grandchildren, completely unaware of who and what they are. My Big Fat Greek Wedding challenges the prevailing consumerist and self-centered ideals that prioritize personal fulfillment over shared values and commitments. The film asks viewers to reconsider the importance of communal bonds, cultural heritage, and intergenerational wisdom in nurturing successful and meaningful marriages. Traditionalists contend that by emphasizing the communal and collective aspects of marriage, individuals can find deeper fulfillment and contribute to the greater stability and continuity of society.

Whats Next:

My Big Fat Greek Wedding while comedic and unserious provides a compelling portrayal of traditional values, cultural preservation, and the centrality of family within the context of modern marriage. This perspective and analysis highlights the film's critique of modern individualism and the enduring importance of culture, heritage, and strong familial ties. The film stresses the significance of preserving traditions and fostering familial cohesion to nurture lasting and meaningful relationships in an ever-changing world. One only wonders, how many generation before the Portakalous family, are just another flavorless gathering of individuals wondering from where they got their family name.

-TJS

References:

Hoebel, E. A. (1949). Anthropology: The Study of Man. McGraw-Hill.

Kirk, R. (1953). The Conservative Mind: From Burke to Eliot. Henry Regnery Company.

Lasch, C. (1991). The True and Only Heaven: Progress and Its Critics. W.W. Norton & Company.

Nisbet, R. (1953). The Quest for Community: A Study in the Ethics of Order and Freedom. Oxford University Press.