Embrace the Suck

A few months ago, Crémieux shared a Twitter thread analyzing data related to the ongoing veteran suicide crisis (you can find the thread here). In his analysis, Crémieux emphasizes that there is no predisposition of suicidal individuals entering the military, nor is there a connection between combat experience, PTSD, and suicide. This information may come as a shock, as most Americans tend to assume that the epidemic of suicides in the military is a side effect of combat experience. However, this could not be further from the truth. The reality is that the suicide problem has less to do with the military and more to do with who's in the military because the suicide problem is a demographic issue. It just so happens that the demographic making up the bulk of suicides also makes up the bulk of the U.S. military. The hard truth is suicide is a male problem and more specifically a “White male problem.”

As stated above, this is not an issue of trauma or PTSD; rather, it is an issue of purpose. Young men (and men in general) have watched their roles in society be replaced by the state and technology. They are no longer needed to perform the basic functions that men have provided since Adam was expelled from the garden. Everywhere they turn, they are told that they are dysfunctional, maladjusted, and the future is female.

This process of replacement has been occurring for the better part of a century. For years, male-only spaces provided a reprieve, but over time, those have been co-opted or outright destroyed; just look at the Boy Scouts or sports. The longest-standing and most prolific male space, the military, has finally been usurped as well.

Traditionally, the military has provided young men with a sense of purpose or the perception of one. For those who may have been eager to join, the military is no longer a viable option, evident in the Department of Defense's inability to meet recruiting numbers. For those already enlisted, many are simply waiting to retire. So, what are they left with? A dead-end desk job, massive college debt, fentanyl?

When young men look to their future, they are confronted with a desolate landscape. There is nothing above them or below, nothing to strive for – just an empty expanse filled with cheap material goods and fleeting hedonistic pleasures to ward off meaninglessness. This sense of purposelessness disproportionately affects white men, given their inclination towards prioritizing delayed gratification and planning for the future. However, when the future appears devoid of purpose, what course of action remains?

As these young men look ahead and realize they have no community, culture, or control over their families (as their wives always have the option to leave and take everything), the future appears bleak, and it seems like nobody cares. Eventually, they rationalize that death is a preferable alternative.

I am all too familiar with the feeling.

I recall returning home from Afghanistan for the last time and separating from the Marine Corps. With my military service behind me, I looked to the future and saw nothing. I found myself dreaming of the past, of hanging with my fire team, going on patrol; in short, I longed for meaning. Sure, combat was scary, it was dangerous, but it was real, and so was life. On the other side of it, I saw nothing, just debt and monotony. I let depression take hold, and soon I did what any good veteran does – I self-medicated. When that stopped working, I contemplated more permanent solutions.

One day I found myself drawn to a phrase we used to say in the Marine Corps, '“Embrace the Suck,” and that’s what I did. I picked myself up and pushed, and in the end, I found Christ, a wife, and two sons. I found a purpose.

We may live in a desert of meaning, things may seem pointless, and the world may tell you that you belong to the past. The response to this is, “Who cares?” Dig your heels in, embrace the suck, pick up your cross, let it make you stronger. We live in disordered times, but they are temporary, and we can’t let temporary setbacks permanently stop us because tomorrow will come, and with it, the sun.

- TJS

https://x.com/cremieuxrecueil/status/1664374763601506305?s=46&t=4UCqagcncpA5ADf3uK_5JA